The world needs more English Bulldog cuteness.
I mean they all have em. Little necks just have the smallest ones. Raw clams aren’t too bad tho. Just kinda slimy and salty and don’t taste like all that much. You should just have some clam chowder mmmm
Yeah the raw clams weren’t bad they just smelled like whoa. I did have some clam chowda in the Cape and that was delightful. But I just want steamed littlenecks. I’ve decided that they will come to me when it’s time, and that I should stop searching. Thanks for letting me vent about clams.
U eatin clams brah?
Yo, I tried. I try, and I try, and I try. Lemme lay down some clam realness for ya. This is literally the fourth time I’ve tried to eat mother fucking steamed clams. First, when I was on the Cape, it was hard as balls to even find clams that weren’t fucking fried. Seafood is everywhere, it shouldn’t be that damn hard. And then, when I finally find some, they are apparently quahog clams that have weird dicky feet on them with crusty sheaths and bullshit that make them absolutely strange and fucking weird. THEN I’m like, alright, I need to find LITTLENECK clams, okay? Those don’t have little dicky weird feet. So I find some, right? I find some in the Cape. They get to our table and are they steamed? NO. They’re fucking raw and they literally smell like sweaty vagina mixed with swampass. So, okay, I never got to eat good steamers in the Cape, so I get another craving while I’m back home. I go to P-Chops late during this late night craving and the fucking seafood department in closed so I buy freakin’ frozen mussels because FUCK MAN LIKE WHY DID I THINK THAT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA?!
Anyway, so, I go to see if there’s any steamers sold in restaurants around here and sho ‘nuff, there’s some sold at that freakin’ Shanty place and we look up the kind and everything and Google tells me that these are the ones. THIS IS IT! THIS IS THE TIME. THE MOMENT I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR.
I get them home, open up my damned thing-a-ma-jig, and you know what they have on them?
Do you know?
Fucking weird-ass mother fucking dick feet.
Fucking clams with dick feet. Why do they even exist?
The Textile Moths of Yumi Okita
That moment when the one porn blog that you follow makes a massive amount of posts while you’re next to your boyfriend and he’s all like:
And I’m over here like: